Would you want to know? Specifics, or just in general?

Perhaps there was someone with the power to tell you all you wanted to know about your death. How, when and where. Would you want to know any or all of those?

Perhaps you like water sports, and you were told you would die drowning. Well certainly you would either avoid your favorite pastime to avoid death, or would continue doing what you like to do, accepting that we all have to go sometime.

Maybe you would just want to know when. But then wouldn't that effect everything you do, as you would want to do all the things that you have put off because no you know you're going to die in ____ many years?

How about where? What if you were said to die in ____ place. Would you then avoid it? Or would your curiosity get the best of you and you investigate said location to possibly learn how you could avoid your own death.

What is it about death the scares some, but others can accept? Would either or all of this knowledge change how you went about your life? Would you really want to know these things?

I wouldn't.

Would you?

"You know there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of one more undignified than auto-erotic asphyxiation." -- X-Files, Clive Bruckman's Final Respose

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

I am going to buckle down and get this story done, and do as many people have told me to do.

Ya'll have been so supportive of my writing over the, what 3 years, I think I have been doing this. I laughed when people would tell me to try and get my writing published. But I am taking myself serious with this story. I am going to write it and when I am satisfied with it I am going to take it to a publisher.

I've never had a lot of confidence in myself, and in my younger years not the kind of determination to stay on something. I've written plenty of short stories but never something longer.

Well now I am. And I wanted to thank you all for giving me this drive finally. Especially Miss Gloria. She has always praised my writings, even when I would think what I wrote would be very offensive.

So thank you blogstream, and thank you Miss Gloria. I am going to do this. Don't know how long it will take, but I will see it through.

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

He was just sitting there reading quietly on the couch. It was a rainy night, kind of cold . . . and well it just seemed like a nice night for reading.

He took a drink of his beer and sat it down on the stand. He opened his book back up, but at that moment the phone rang. He got up and walked to the receiver on the wall and picked it up. He listened for a moment. Talking for a few minutes while pacing the floor. Finally after a farewell he hung the phone up, still pacing the floor with phone in his hand.

Finally he walked over to the wall and put the phone back in the receiver. He took a deep breath, ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and turned on the cold water. He splashed some water on his face, and with his eyes closed, turned the faucet off and reached for a towel and dried his face off. He went back to his room, passing his roommate in the hallway. He told his roommate if he had a visitor to please show them to his room.

He went back to his room and sat back on the couch. He sat there for a moment and then got up and turned on the stereo to some nice tranquil music. He sat back down. He took another deep breath, and let it out slowly. He got back up and paced the floor some more.

He heard some talking. Someone must be here. He ran over to the couch and sat down, grabbing up his book and sticking it in his face. He nervously breathed as he just stared blankly at the words but not really reading.

There was a quiet knock on the door.

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

The door opened.

He wanted to look over the edge of his book, but at the same time he didn't. He knew who was there, he knew he wanted her here, but he just didn't want to look up. Until a small hand appeared in the corner of his book, pushing it down out of his line of sight.

And there she was. A woman that he had known for years, staring back at him in a way he had never seen before. There was lust in here eyes, and deviance on her lips. He felt his heart rate jump a few notches. His book fell from his hand to the floor. In the quiet of the room it sounded like an atomic bomb.

She brought her finger to her lips in a "hush" manner. Smiled and took a step closer to him, so that she was standing over his legs as he sat there on the couch.

There she was. Standing within inches of him. This woman he had known as a friend and acquaintance is now in his room standing over him with every intention of making him her pet. And it scared him as much as it excited him.

She moved closer to him, continuing to straddle his legs. She sat on his lap and leaned close to him. His heart felt like it would leap out of his chest.

Work is getting slower and slower each day. It's hard to not be concerned about one's continued employment. While the company that I am working for hasn't had to do any lay-offs, they have cut all hourly employees to a strict 40 hour week. The only thing that saves me is that once every 3 weeks I have to travel to our other store and work there for a week. I get paid for my drive time, which is 3-4 hours of overtime, and they pay my gas.

But it still strains the budget when it is already hard to pay for the things that are needed. much less anything outside of needs. It's probably why I have been neglecting posting here, and for definitely why I have posted something in my comic book weblog for such a long time, cause I haven't been buying any comic books.

Just recently I traded some comics via the internet to a shop down in Arlington Texas, so I can get some new ones, because I don't want to part with actual cash.

And I think it is more than just the oilfield industry that is feeling this drop in the economy. Stores everywhere are frantic to give such extreme sales so as they can move their product. But this doesn't seem to effect the people that don't already want to spend money. They still aren't.

Not only is it hard to keep the money that you have now, there really isn't an light at the end of the tunnel, from the government for those that are looking to retire. They are on their own with the money that they have saved themselves. And I am to confident that anything is going to be different 30 plus years down the road when it is my turn to retire.

It's scary out there. I hope that our present administration can clear things up. But he's only one man and right now he only has 4 years to clean up 8 years of crap. He may get elected again, but still, there is a lot to fix and repair and I just wonder what we will get taken care of and what will fall to the wayside.

I guess this is more than anything what keeps me apprehensive about the future and depressed about the present. I have a family to take care of, and they rely on me to provide them for the things that they need. I know I can always find a job, if it comes to that, because I am willing to work any job to make money, but I know that it might be a job that doesn't pay as well.

I don't want Angela to have to work because I want her to be at home with the children. That is important to me. I don't want to have a school or daycare take care of my children. Besides the astronomical amount of money that it cost to put a child in daycare could be spent better, or not made at all in order to keep her at home rather than work a secular job.

I could work two jobs, and have done it before, but then I would never be at home with the children if I am working all the time. I am really not sure what I can/need to do. But I am keeping an eye out and trying to stay one step ahead so that I can be prepared for whatever comes my way. I am just kind of afraid of what might be coming my way.

It seems a bleak time to still type my tagline, but . . .

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

Okay, I watched Yojimbo last night. I have finally decided to embark on watching Kurosawa's films. But just from watching Yojimbo last night, I know that this experience is going to branch off and embark on watching more of Mifune's movies as well, be there more outside of Kurosawa's films.

I enjoyed Yojimbo a great deal. It had a slow start, but sometimes foreign films seem to have a slower start because (especially if one is unfamiliar with said country's culture) it seems one can't experience everything that is unknown to them. I guess it's like when there is no dialouge it's kind of like watching a silent film.

But the begining of the film did set the characters and the story in motion. The movie seemed to pace itself very well after I would say the first 45 minutes or so. You can see the amount of thought that was but into his actions in pitting the two rival gangs against each other, in an effort to have them eliminate each other with little interference from him.

I began to wonder why the film had been titled Yojimbo until the Mifune kills six men in order to free Nui (Yōko Tsukasa) her son and husband from captivity. Of course, this lands him in some deep trouble, that of course he survives, then leading to the final showdown.

And Yōko Tsukasa made my heart stop. Wow, what a beautiful woman. She was definatly not in the movie enough for my tastes. I could have watched her for two hours.

One last thing . . . the music. It fit the movie so well. Especially the "showdown" music. But overall it just made the experience that much better or fitter, if that is the word. It definatly made the non-dialouge moments of the movie entertaining and exciting.

Well that's about it. Now on to Sanjuro.