Sorry it's been so long.

We moved from where we were into a bit better of a home and all. One with a fenced back yard, which we didn't have before. Now the kids can get out of the house and play without us having to worry about oncoming traffic and all that.

Then we took a vacation in Montana that we had planned, prior to moving, so there was that when we got moved in the house. Even now there are still a few odds and end things that I still need to do to the new house, but we are 95% done.

So it's been kinda busy and what not, and I've been kinda neglectful of making new posts. Most free time I had was spent around the house or with the kids.

Also we got a pet snake for Marc. I'll post some pictures of him soon. They are on the computer at home, so I'll add them to the post then. He is a ball python named Bahamut, and is right now, probably, 14-16 inches or so. He dines on mice at the moment. His potential length can be anywhere from 3-5 ft average, 6 ft at the most.

That's about all that I can think of right now. I'll try to make my rounds and come around and visit everyone.

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

I woke up about 4am this morning, so pissed off. I just felt some burning anger in me, that was . . . well I don't get angry much, so when I do, it's ugly.

And it was all because of this dream I had . . .

My wife and I had some company. She was sitting in the living room talking to this man and woman, and I was busy around the house cleaning and whatnot. (Which really is what I do when company is at our house, because I become self-conscious about the appearance of the house.) Well soon after, I come into our bedroom and crash on the bed. I remember her asking me what is wrong. I said, I was just tired and glad that company was gone so we could have some peace and quiet.

Well, I had crashed on the bed, on my stomach. As we were talking I rolled over on my back. I was dozing in and out of sleep and all of a sudden I realize what I am feeling. [Imagination people, I'm not spelling it out. 8-)] I open my eyes, and find out it's not my wife, it was that woman that was at the house earlier, that I thought had left. I look over and there my wife is sitting there watching us.

I freaked and pulled myself up and away from her. I remember my wife saying that it was okay, she didn't mind. But for me, it just wasn't jivin. She comes over beside the two of us, and tells me that she arranged this. I remember feeling uncomfortable and that this just didn't seem like her.

Well then all of a sudden there's the dude that was here earlier to standing right over the bed beside her. My brain knows what the situation is, but my emotions just don't coincide with it.

Suddenly the baby cries. Now I know what's going to happen if I leave, but I just can't deal with it. I know but I don't want to know. So I leave to go check on our son. I go downstairs to make him a bottle, and slightly detour to our room. I look in and turn and leave just as quickly. I go into the kitchen and make the bottle for him and go to take it upstairs. I come back down the stairs and back into our room, where my wife is there alone. Now the conversation is weird.

"It's alright nothing happened."
I didn't say anything.
"He said he didn't want anything out of the ordinary, but he kept asking for things I didn't want to do."
I just looked at her.
(I really don't understand where this statement came from or what the hell it was suppose to mean.)
"I had to be his bearer."

So I left the bedroom and went into the kitchen, and that dude was in the kitchen. He started talking to me, like we were close friends or some shit. He said she (my wife) wouldn't do what he wanted. He said she was suppose to do what he said, it didn't matter if she liked it or not, that was what they had arranged.

I started towards the basement (which is out of the kitchen) and went down the stairs. He was following me, and still talking to me, but by this time I was beyond listening to him. I saw three baseball bats leaning against the wall in the basement. I remember picking the aluminum one because I knew it would hurt the most. I walked back up the stairs to the kitchen, and he still followed me.

I turned around and looked at him just as he was saying "you shouldn't be putting up with that shit, you take what you want from her . . ." and swung the bat and smacked him right in the side of the head. He fell back against the fridge and I hit him in the head again. He fell to the floor.

The rest of the dream was blurred, I just kept hitting him and hitting him, over and over again until I finally stopped. There was really just not much left on the ground but lots and lots of blood. I remember feeling mortified and satisfied at the same time. Which is really scary, being satisfied in killing someone.

Then I woke up. I think I didn't go back to sleep for a hour or better. Sitting there watching Spider-man 2 that was still on from earlier when my son woke up and wanted milk and to watch it.

That was what woke me up pissed off. Don't have any idea where that came from in my head, but it was there.

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

It's like an addiction. You just have to have more. Once you've tasted it, there is no turning back.

Tasting the forbidden fruit. Do it to me one more time. From start to finish. Nothing else is like it. You spellbound me.

The way you move, the way you speak. You know what I desire. The way you move you tease me. I just want to feel me inside you. Each time we part, I find another reason why, to be with you.

Do it to me one more time . . .

I need you.

I know it's hard to love me.

You make love slow and easy.

I just want you here inside me.

 

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

 

Can you honestly deny yourself something that you don't want to?

Keep up a pretence of one thing, while dwelling on another?

Can you deny being human?

It's wrong, but it feels so right. Another time, another place, another universe. It might have been different. If there were a parallel universe then maybe.

Can't say that anyone person on the earth has not had that thought about something that they discover/find/someone they meet. We all have, even if the present isn't a regret, there is something that we might want to change, but the thought of the present makes us wonder of the alternative in our head would be what we would think it to be.

May U Live 2 See The Dawn

Boy do I have one . . .

I fell asleep on the couch . . .

I was walking to my car while talking to my friend. As we round the corner of my apartment complex there is a woman sitting in my car. I argue about how I am going to hit him over the head for doing that to me, and he says something about cutting off my finger.

I get in my car and talk to the girl and am real nice to her, and then she leaves. (It was funny that my friend in this dream was someone who had I been single when we became friends would pull something like that.)

*I woke up myself to some noise or thinking I heard one of the kids or something and then went back to bed about 15-20 minutes later*

I'm driving home from somewhere back to my apartment. As I get closer I can see there is something wrong. There is smoke coming out of it and as I turn around I could see half the building was caved in. (And this was a big one, like 30 plus stories, like the kind of building were all going to live in the future. Also for some reason I think that came from the Muir (sp?) building pictures I remember seeing in school.)

Now there is the thought of my wife and kids. This is when my dream tells me for some reason we are divorced and my kids are grown and on their own. But I guess if I figured something like this happened, then why not other buildings.

Anyways, I go into the building, taking the stairs and everything is everywhere. Exposed wires, bodies, debris, etc. I'm hearing nothing though, besides crackles of electricity and whatnot. Like there is no one in this huge building alive.

I start feeling like there is a presence in the building, and it's watching/following me. For some reason I sense it isn't human. Don't know how, I just do. It's like I suddenly know what's going on. I instantly know that my wife and children are not safe. Something happened to me, it was like being consumed by the symbiote costume. In the end it came out like a cross between Venom and Obsidian.

Obsidian

 I then was able to cross through dimensions, although I didn't know it at the the, I was just flying to get to them. My wife stayed in a complex like mine. I remember flying there to search for her to make sure she was okay. (I'll omit all the strange and unrelated things I saw on my way that make no sense in relation to the story unless this is a Pink Floyd music video). But this is the strangest thing. I was flying so fast in a rush that I passed into another dimension and ended up in my house.

And there I was looking at myself sleeping and realizing that the dimension or universe that I was in was not the way things were suppose to be. Like the one I was in wasn't right. I should have never been divorced from my wife and not able to see my kids. This was the way things were suppose to be, not the way they were.

And then I woke up. Man talk about bizarre. Dr. Fredric Wertham would be proud to know that comics have even effected the outcome of my dreams, where there is world of violence, I'm divorced from my wife and never see my kids.

May U Live 2 See The Dawn